i put the bi in bitter

lgbttp://

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 19:14:11 -0400

lizardvvizard: chazkuangshi: ephemeral-lightning: chazkuangshi: “I’ve NEVER. Eaten a DONUT. In...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 19:14:06 -0400

chazkuangshi:

ephemeral-lightning:

chazkuangshi:

“I’ve NEVER. Eaten a DONUT. In my ENTIRE LIFE. And I’m NOT. About to start NOW.”

-Crazy customer I had today, upon being offered a complimentary donut

Why is this a real thing that happened in the real world what’s the meaning of this

I’m just gonna copy paste the story here from discord because honestly the whole story is worth hearing

so lady comes through drive thru.
“Hi what can I get for you?”
“A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese.”
“A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese, sure no problem, can I get you anything else today?”
“No”
“Alright, you can pull up”
and I just hear this quiet disgrunted “ ‘Please’ ?”

I’m like uhhhhh, was that even directed at me, I don’t know, I don’t know how to respond to that so I just ignore it like I didn’t hear it. I go up to the window and see this woman, which she honestly looked like a tomato with messy gray hair. Before I have the window halfway open I see her roll her eyes at me so I’m like oh boy here we go, time to put on the stupid sweet customer voice

“Hi how are you today?”

She hands me the money for her bagel and goes “Just a tip. It’s ‘Please pull up to the window.’ not ‘pull up.’ I found that incredibly rude.”

I go “I’m sorry about that, I didn’t intend for that to be rude, I just meant that it was okay to pull up to the window now.”
“I know what you meant. But it was rude.”
“Well, I apologize. Here’s your bagel, have a great day.”
She goes “I’m a MYSTERY SHOPPER.” (If you don’t have Mystery shoppers where you are, it’s kind of like undercover boss where the store owner hires someone through the Mystery shopper program and they place a regular order just to make sure people are following policy)
I’m like “… ok”

So I’m about to tell my boss and coworker what just happened when she comes in. And I jump to the front counter because no way I’m letting her talk to my boss before I do.

“Hi, can I help you?”
“Yes. This bagel was supposed to be NOT toasted. You toasted it.”
“Ohh, I’m so sorry about that! I didn’t hear that. I’ll make you a new one right now.”
Coworker beats me to the bagel and I say “A little extra cream cheese on that.”
She looks at my boss “She just said a LITTLE cream cheese. I wanted EXTRA cream cheese.”
Boss goes “Oh, she said a little extra cream cheese.”
“Oh”

Boss goes into kiss ass mode as well and says, “I’m sorry about the mistake, would you like a donut?”
Lady goes “I’ve never. Eaten a donut. In my ENTIRE LIFE. and I’m NOT. About to start NOW.”
Boss is like “… ok” and we’re all internally going sdhakgsdgkja?

So we get the bagel out and she says to my boss
“And I have one more thing to say.” She leans in with a sneer. “Mystery shopper.”
boss goes “We don’t do that here.”
“yea you do.”
“No we don’t.”
“yea you do.”
“Have a good day.”

Basically we’re pretty sure the lady was crazy and she was absolutely lying because Mystery shoppers are not allowed to tell you that they’re mystery shoppers, and they aren’t allowed to coach you. And even if she was, “please” is not one of the things they look for. They look for a Greeting, whether or not you repeated the order and the price back, and whether or not you upsold. We haven’t participated in the program in over 7 years.

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name: like listen I know we’re all for owen and claire running off and...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 18:43:26 -0400

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name:

like listen I know we’re all for owen and claire running off and loving their adopted clone daughter but like….they really did just essentially kidnap that child I feel like someone should address that

all-of-the-dead-girls: Some initial thoughts on Jurassic World: Fallen KingdomIt should go without...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 18:42:36 -0400

all-of-the-dead-girls:

Some initial thoughts on Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
It should go without saying but there are spoilers
Love that lingering shot on Claire’s boots as she gets off the plane on Isla Nublar, as if saying “LOOK SHE’S NOT WEARING HEELS IN THIS ONE.”
The very pointed way what’s-his-name called Zia a “nasty woman” was uh… Not Subtle.
You guys the Indoraptor is JACKED
I feel like this one just abandons the series’ own internal logic and science just to have Maisie exist as she is AND give her the emotional arc at the end
fuckin’ BD Wong
needs more Jeff Goldblum
my nerd ass hopes the inevitable next movie deals with like, the ethics of this whole mess. Will PETA take up the cause? What are the ecological implications of all these new species being introduced? How will that be dealt with, will the government sanction a dino cull? How would society change when there’s pteradactyls that could swoop down and snatch up anyone at any time? Is that lion gonna be ok???
the fuck has that water thing been eating for 3 years?
who’s making the fan art of Claire, Owen and their adopted clone daughter Maisie? Featuring Vodka Aunt Zia and Disaster Uncle Franklin?
I don’t care that much about the dumb shit in the movie, it was fun, whatever, these movies were never scientifically sound

epsileo: A family can be a sciencist, an animal behavioral expert, a genetically modified kid and...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 18:41:48 -0400

epsileo:

A family can be a sciencist, an animal behavioral expert, a genetically modified kid and a genetically modified dinosaur

cloverdog: I want Jurassic World 3 to be a 2+ hour Nat Geo style documentary on dinosaurs and at...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 18:40:04 -0400

cloverdog:

I want Jurassic World 3 to be a 2+ hour Nat Geo style documentary on dinosaurs and at one point the cameraman just gets fucking eaten by the Mosasaurus because they got too close, and the narrator doesn’t even bat an eye and goes “the mosasaurus is known to swallow small creatures, such as humans like this one, whole.”

i-a-n-malcolm: JUST LET MALCOLM LIVE OUT HIS DAYS YOU CAN SEE IN HIS POOR EYES THAT DINOSAURS ARE...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 18:35:03 -0400

i-a-n-malcolm:

JUST LET MALCOLM LIVE OUT HIS DAYS YOU CAN SEE IN HIS POOR EYES THAT DINOSAURS ARE RUINING IT AND HE IS NOT HAVING IT

ace-not-amoeba: Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom spoilers with no...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 18:32:18 -0400

ace-not-amoeba:

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom spoilers with no context

swan2swan: Thousands of fanboys are going to be furiously mashing their keyboards and calling...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 18:29:20 -0400

swan2swan:

Thousands of fanboys are going to be furiously mashing their keyboards and calling Franklin “annoying” like they wouldn’t be having anxiety attacks and melting down at every snapping twig on the island.

ponymama: Sometimes a family is a man, a woman, their clone daughter, and their velociraptor...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 18:26:57 -0400

ponymama:

Sometimes a family is a man, a woman, their clone daughter, and their velociraptor daughter.

sideshow-bob: Dinosaurs eating rich people is my kink.

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 18:25:04 -0400

sideshow-bob:

Dinosaurs eating rich people is my kink.

kleeklutch: Catch me comin’ outta Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 18:22:45 -0400

kleeklutch:

Catch me comin’ outta Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom like

Jurassic World 2 Spoilers but they’re too out of context to understand

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 18:22:22 -0400

literalnobody:

thunderbolt and lightning very very frightening
put that bone back where it came from or so help me
WHO is your MOTHER
pillow fight with grandpa
“You two really deserve each other” (they do)
GO BACK FOR THAT FUCKING GIRAFFE
“her blood is PURE” oh buddy oh hun
Chris Pratt making sad puppy noises
“I told you it wasn’t a t-rex” “HOW IS THIS BETTER”
“We are not compatible”
you can’t hurt me this gold stripe is gucci
DID YOU JUST FUCKING SMILE
coming soon Mad Max: Furassic World

gamoralives: My review of Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom: Not enough Jeff Goldblum

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 18:18:01 -0400

gamoralives:

My review of Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom: Not enough Jeff Goldblum

coolman229: US Government: Should we save the dinosaurs?Dr. Ian Malcolm: leans into microphone...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 18:11:32 -0400

coolman229:

US Government: Should we save the dinosaurs?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: *leans into microphone* No
US Government: But they’ll all die
Dr. Ian Malcolm:

Photo

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 18:06:30 -0400

osterfields: the director of jurassic world really made the mistake of telling tom holland the plot...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 18:03:20 -0400

osterfields:

the director of jurassic world really made the mistake of telling tom holland the plot of the film, tom immediately went and told it to chris pratt who’s the star of jurassic world, pratt didn’t believe tom but later read the script and found out that tom actually did spoil the plot for him, then over a year later the director found out that tom spoiled the film for pratt and he called tom holland a weasel on twitter and tom said that he genuinely couldn’t help himself
…a mess

horizonzeronikola: Current mood: Still crying after THAT SCENE in Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom.

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 17:57:44 -0400

horizonzeronikola:

Current mood:
Still crying after THAT SCENE in Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom.

ludicremmy: me in 2015, watching the first jurassic world: See this is cool and all since the dinos...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 17:57:40 -0400

ludicremmy:

me in 2015, watching the first jurassic world: See this is cool and all since the dinos are on an island and can’t go far but what about the mosasaurus? What would happen if the barrier around the island broke or they opened the gate? did they ever think of this? do they know how dangerous she is-
me in 2018, watching the new jurassic world: I’ve been thinking about this for 3 years and it actually fucking happened I can’t believe it

raptureofficial: jurassic park: holy FUCK we are going to get EATENjurassic world: I 🙏 am a...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 17:56:57 -0400

raptureofficial:

jurassic park: holy FUCK we are going to get EATEN
jurassic world: I 🙏 am a dinosaur ACTIVIST 💯✊🙅‍♂️ I SUPPORT 🤝 and LOVE 💞💕💓 ALL 🌎 DINOS 🦖💯🔥 they are my BABIES 👶❤️ they KILL PEOPLE? ☠️🔪 NO WAY 🚫👀👋